great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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