What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
