I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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