Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
