my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
