I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Randomize
