3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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