remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
