im holly from the hills drunk
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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