me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize