he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
