I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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