If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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