summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
