You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
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