That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
