its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
3pm strippers are depressing
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
