your room smells of hookers.
And success
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
