Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
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I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
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sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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