ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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