id be glad to
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
