You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I have feelings that need drinking.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
