So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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