I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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