the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
