I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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