I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
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Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
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It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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