This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
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my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
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i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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