my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
