He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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