He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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