He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
