i think my mom watched the whole time
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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