So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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