Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
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