Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
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