apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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