Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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