can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
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you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize