it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
