dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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