when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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