WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize