i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
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I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
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So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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