i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
