brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
