Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
