I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
birth control should be required to get into college
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
