remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
