if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
