thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
