What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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