You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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