i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
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My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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