Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
