perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
