He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
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