dude i'm inner monologue high
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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