my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize